I think every couple has one or more of these, those early photos they took together.
This one isn’t so great, but we love it. We look like such kids to the ‘us’ that is now!
All couples have their ‘things’. Things that define who they are together. These ‘things’ are generally not the same ‘things’ that define who we are individually.
I have noticed that most people think that to have a happy marriage, you must just love your partner, but we have learnt the you can’t always actually be in love with your partner. That love ebbs and flows and if you rely in that love only, you stand to loose it all one day.
We believe that in any good relationship, there are three loves you need to cultivate and nurture. Yep, 3, not just one.
Love yourself first, if you don’t love yourself, how can you possibly love someone else? When you love yourself, you will also able to understand and accept your own shortcomings and can better understand and accept your partners too.
Love your partner
This is the obvious one… If you are going to have a relationship, it really helps to love the one you are with. The love you have for your partner makes it easier to see their faults as a charming rather than annoying thing!
Love the partnership itself
This one is a little less obvious… If you are having issues with your partner, sometimes your love for what you have created together, and honouring that, can help you get past the issues and back to a better place with each other.
Putting it all together
Revisiting things like your first photo together, going back to the first restaurant you ate at, your first holiday destination, first meal cooked together… And a bunch of other firsts, I won’t mention here, all go a long way towards reminding you both of those early feelings for each other, when you have been together a long time and maybe need a little bit of reminding!
The Love Bank
Our love for each other is kind of also like a couple of bank accounts. When you top up each other account balances, you keep the accounts full and active.
If you let the balance run low, the love can run low or even run out. Too many people let that happen.
Love deposits are not so hard and the list of things above can help, but it is also the simple things, like giving a hug, listening without giving advice, doing something you know is important to your partner without being asked to… This list can go on and on.
Make an effort
Making an effort with the little things and being present makes all the difference. When you keep that balance healthy, you will have a good life together, filled with love and adventure. What I have noticed over the years is that people fall out of love by convincing themselves they have.
Here are some really important words to keep in your heart:
forgive, let go, trust
We wish you all the kind of love we have!